Over the past couple of years of writing here, in a secluded corner away from the judging, or worse, uninterested, eyes of people, I have realised a few things. Writing this way - for myself, sharing with a few close ones, reading and re-reading the things I have written, is not typically productive - it doesn't lead me anywhere or give my work recognition or views. It rather works like journaling of sorts, resulting in a very scantily written journal albeit. Also, while in a frustrated throe, I may feel like this kind of writing may simply be utterly useless if I want to write successfully some day, I have realised that it may not be actually all that useless. Not that I have a clearly defined idea of what writing successfully really means, but more on that later.
Writing here allows me to practise my propounding and prose, because what I put here is not raw at all, and in that sense, this is more a somewhat curated portfolio than a journal. This portfolio is a collection of some of my most well-formed, well-expressed personal thoughts. Although it doesn't exhaustively represent all my opinions, musings, and internal debates, it showcases some that have not been too complicated to articulate in small essays.
'Ephemeral' or 'Ephemerally Yours' are new names for this portfolio, and I admit that I came up with these in the midst of an uninspired sense of urgency. However, I do especially like the word 'ephemeral', because it describes, on the cosmic scale, our lives and everything they are made up of. Just like one can not point at a particular drop of water in a river and follow it as it makes it way through the greens and browns of lands, grasses and soils, into the endless blues and greys of the sea, one can not point at the ephemeral events of a shapeshifting life. As I release my own thoughts out of a jar and into the universe, I remind it of and thank it for my existence, and recognise the impermanence of my ruminations and beliefs, of my judgements and preferences, for this impermanence allows for a lot of room for growth and adventure. There is always scope for forgiveness, redressal, and fresh beginnings in a world characterized by the ephemeral - optimistic nihilism, but a dulcet form of putting it, one that renders the future with, not a wild, overwhelming burst of possibilities, but a soft glow of hope.
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